Roadblocks. We all have them. They stop us from getting, doing or having what we really want.
-I want to eat better, but I don’t have the money to buy better food.
-I want to exercise, but I don’t have the time.
-I want to get my hair done because it makes me feel confident, but I feel selfish.
-I need a weekly date night with my husband, but I feel guilty for taking the time away from the kids.
-I want more “me" time, but I feel selfish. Someone would have to pick up my slack.
GUILT. TIME. OVERWHELM. MONEY.
I’ve used every excuse in the book. "I don't know where to start," “It’s selfish of me,” “It's too much money," “Will it really pay off?” You’re feeling me. You’ve had these thoughts too.
Each one of these is mental roadblock that requires a shift in mindset. And lucky you, mindset shifts are kind of my thing. So, if you really want to stay where you are, quit reading now. Otherwise, come along and let’s move forward together through the land of mental roadblocks.
GUILT: Girl, I don’t even have to know who you are to know you are worth it. You are important, your needs are important, you mental health is important, your physical well being is important, your biggest goals and dreams are important. Do not feel guilty for any of these needs. And yes, girl, it’s okay to have your own set of unique needs. Ignoring your needs because of guilt creates the potential for long term problems including feeling more empty than you already might. Repeat after me: I matter. I am worth it.
Side note: Whats good for you is also good for your family. When you feel worthy and when your needs are met, your family will take note. Your renewed confidence in yourself will shine through in ways you never imagined.
TIME: I didn’t have time. I dont have time. Tomatoes. Toe-MAH-toes. Are you ready to hear some not so sugar coated thoughts about time? If it’s really important, you'll make the time. It may take waking up earlier or staying up later. It might take creating new routines and habits. It might mean you surf the 'gram for 30 minutes less or skip your nightly shows. It might mean you have to temporarily take something off your plate.
You will make the time for the things are important to you.
And often, we have a false thinking that what we want to do will take more time that it actually does. But basically, how much do you really want what you say you want? Make the room, make the time, and create the margin.
OVERWHELM: Oh my, have I let this one bog me down! Overwhelm paralyzes me. I don’t where to start. I don’t know how to start, so I don’t start at all. Sound familiar?
Start by emptying out all your mental obstacles...everything that makes you think you can’t, start there. You’ll be surprised by what you write down when you get really honest with yourself. After you acknowledge your mental roadblocks, give yourself some positive affirmations. Heck, be weird and say them aloud. This is your inner monologue and it turns out 75% of people do this, so you’re actually in good company.
Next, take that big, overwhelming thing and break it down. Reverse engineer the course from point A to B, step by step. Focus on taking the first small step, then the next and the next until you’re on on your way.
And if you’re still stuck, find someone who’s doing or done what you want to do and grab their coattails. No one needs to reinvent the wheel and trying to do so can prevent you from starting and finishing the task at hand.
MONEY: It’s too much money. Put your big girl panties on again because this mental roadblock really gets me going. If we’re speaking honestly, I’m going to tell you it’s mostly always about priorities and instant gratification and less about the money. Hear me out.
Let’s talk about the things you don’t blink at eye at purchasing and yet they’re 100% unnecessary and potentially frivolous. They don’t take your business further or help your pants fit better or support you in getting from where you are now to where you want to be.
I run an affordably priced, paid subscription based coaching group and I can’t tell you how many times I hear, “I would love to be a part of that, but I just can’t afford it.” And 9 times out of 10, it’s a matter of priorities and a preference for instant gratification.
-I can buy that $24 #cookiemomster tee, but coaching that will help me buy more tees than I could dream of? Nah.
-I can’t afford a gym membership, but I just bought the cutest new jeans from Target.
-I really need a date night with my husband, but I splurged and bought new pillows for the living room instead.
We choose to make easy and instantly gratifying investments with small purchases because it's easy. And honestly, this is the norm. We want to take the path of least resistance.
It’s easy to fill out your credit card info and have the instant gratification a package on your doorstep will give…..but that my friends is not where the real growth comes from. I know its easier to buy new jeans rather than putting in the work to fit back into your old ones. Trust me, I know it's hard to fork over the dollars to take the class that teaches you how to scale your business. It’s easier to buy that little piece of whatever and think it’s magically going to solve your problems. Spoiler alert: It won’t.
The payoff doesn't come in a week in a brown box with colorful shred and nice packaging. It comes from you time, commitment, brainpower and trail and error.
Whatever your roadblock to investing in yourself, know you’re not alone. We’ve all been there, but not all us come through to the other side. But friends, that feeling of accomplishment and honoring your needs , THAT payoff is faaaaaar more rewarding than any roadblock you’ll encounter.